Monday, November 24, 2008

chaos theory

i recently had a discussion with a friend that was almost an argument because as soon as our viewpoints met, they clashed like fuckin' titans. for some reason we were talking about the universe and the nature of things, and she admitted to loving mathematics because everything is inherently bound up in math. my immediate response was that i have hated and always will hate math (like this fucking blog) because the way i see it math is only part of the equation. at the time i tried in vain to adequately defend my side, saying how chaos was also everywhere and some things exceeded the rules and regulations of math. where my friend saw hidden structure and rigidity, i saw the possibility for decay and disorder. this extends into other facets of my outlook on life, but you've probably figured that out by now.

newayz, i let the argument drop from my head and it stayed blissfully gone until almost a month later when a flaxen toupee sauntered into my inner visions. i thought of donald trump, and somehow my argument resonated around this douchey man. now, i don't know much about this man, but i feel like most uber-rich people who weren't born into it have taken some sort of  a chance (or several) over the years that proved bountiful to their wealth. mr. trump seems like the kind of man who would gamble with his wealth if it meant accruing far more wealth. and this striking-out-blindly in the name of progress is to me what chaos is all about.

it's undeniable that math is everywhere in our day to day lives. but to believe that mathematics is the be all end all rulebook to our cosmos is to me a bit narrow-minded. when chances are taken, when chaos enters the otherwise orderly fray, that is when true progress occurs. because to step out into the unknown, to try for something with no foreseeable outcome, is to embrace a certain kind of chaos. there are no quantifiable rules that govern an impulse. and even if there were an equation to explain the ebb and flow of thoughts through one's head, no living person would know how to write it. 

i guess my point is that math and order are only the beginning. the universe is so rife with unknown unknowns that we cannot claim to understand even 2% of the shit that's going on out there. i do not deny that there are surface aspects to our reality that math can reliably account for, but i refuse to accept that math dictates as many things as we assume it does. when donald trump decided to buy a shit-ton of casinos in atlantic city, there was more than math at work. sure, the numbers may have hinted at profits to be made, but to actually go forward and buy up these monstrosities required a certain flirtation with chaos. in reality, the failure of some of those casinos nearly robbed trump of his iconic douchey persona, proving that the numbers didn't add up as the maths might've predicted. there are many forces at work when it comes to the things we do with our lives, but none of them can be diluted into a singular explanatory statement, as math would have us think. you could still try to argue with me about the hidden harmonic structure to all things within our shared consciousness, but as someone who's spent a lot of time playing with fireworks, i can tell you this: you never know what the fuck is going to happen.

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