Thursday, January 22, 2009
Facebook: Complete social networking made simple 4 U.
Network Socially over a vast Social Network of friends and advertising schemes. Totally 3.0 for Today's High-Speed Internet!
Facebook 3.0 is a totally revamped, reserviced social network allowing U to:
* Virtually connect with each and every member of your family, regardless of whether or not you want to let them in on the personal life you've so carelessly built up before there was even a possibility of them reading about it!
* Learn the minutiae of all the people you spent years trying to avoid in college while our servers publicly broadcast each profile you view and for how long (mandatory broadcast to all friends and subsequent friends of friends)!
* Built-in messaging system creates sense of guilt similar to e-mailing: simply receive unwanted messages and experience bitter obligation of crafting a response!
* Picture-tagger automatically sorts photographs based on how much fun your ex's are having now that you are a fading echo doomed to the bleak recesses of their long-disinterested minds!
* Fun applications!
* Homeland Security Monitor automatically lists which authorities are notified when you write "bong" in a comment!
* FacebookChat is the fast, easy way to see which of your friends are online and whether or not you need to sign out immediately (all online contacts notified exact period of time between their login and your logout)!
* Pay real money for intangible electronic pixels to decorate your profile!
* Lists. Endless, irrelevant, mind-numbing lists.